Murphy's Law has hit again.  I went to a friend's wedding this weekend, which was in Montpelier, VA (right outside of Richmond).  It was beautiful and rather unconventional, like the couple themselves.  However, it was the most moving ceremony and heartfelt exchange of vows that I have ever heard.  It had almost everyone in tears.  The ceremony was held in a field behind a friend's house where the reception was as well.  People who wanted to stay there and party couple bring a tent and camp out, save money, not have to worry about driving...  My mother and I stayed at the recommended hotel which was not far away and just fine.  I knew with the medication that I am on for my neck that I could not drink, so driving would not be a problem.  My brother opted to stay in a tent there and party of course.  One of the times that I went to the car to get something for him, I managed to fall and tear up my knee and one of my arms on the gravel driveway.  Since the friend's house was in the country, they have some kind of burrowing critter (gopher, mole, vole...) that has made a system of tunnels all in the yard and apparently under the gravel driveway.  I learned this when I stepped halfway in one, twisted sideways and fell.  I tore up my left knee and have road rash up my right arm from the wrist to the elbow.  I managed to not get any on my left arm, but only because I caught myself and took the brunt of the fall in the should and neck, right where all of my pain has already been.  Yep. I'm just lucky that way...

Well, I had my first physical therapy session today and it went well.  Apparently, most of my issues are, indeed, muscular in nature.  There is a tiny area at the base of the skull, where it connects with the neck, that I cannot pronounce, where a major artery and a major nerve runs from the neck to the head.  Apparently, when I get stressed, I begin to tense the muscles around that little tunnel.  Most people do, which is what causes tension headaches.  In my case, the muscles have been tense for so long and so tight for so long, that they don't relax on their own.  I have to learn stretch them out to relax them and I have to build up the muscles in the middle of my upper back to help take some of the tension off of those muscles in the first place.  I also have to work on my posture.  In case you didn't know, I have the second worst posture in the world.  My father has the worst posture in the world, so as least I got it honest.  Strengthening the muscles in my upper back will also help my posture according to the therapist.

Anyway, I did feel better after the session and he did massage the area to release the tension and restore normal blood flow.  I had a headache when I went in there and left without one.  He told me that it was not uncommon to feel exhausted while going through therapy because your body is learning something new.  I told him that I felt exhausted anyway because by the end of the day, I hurt so much, I couldn't do anything but fight pain.  He said that should get better over the next few weeks.  It was funny because he asked what I did for a living that caused me to have such enormous stress, and when I told him that I was a school counselor, he asked me if I worked in the jail.  I told him no.  He asked what kind of school I worked in because he couldn't believe that I worked a regular school and had this much stress.    He said that he rarely saw anyone with that much stress and tension, much less someone at my age.  I think it's hilarious that he assumed that I work with juvenile delinquents though.  You know that I am telling everyone in the building tomorrow.

Hopefully, in a few weeks, I will be feeling relatively normal, whatever that means.  Then I can actually read and comment on LJ again.  I am actually trying to do it, but it's hard when even reading, much less commenting, takes more energy than I have at the moment.  Please be patient.  It's not you.  It's me.

I have to take a moment and brag on one of my students.  She writes music and sings.  One of her songs has been chosen to be on a compilation on iTunes in the near future!  It's actually very good, along with the rest of her songs.  The production of the songs isn't great, but considering that she did it with her own computer, it's not bad.  If you want to check it out, listen to her playlist at her myspace page, which is open to anyone.  www.myspace.com/ylimexo  The song that is being placed on iTunes is called Oceanfront.  She's got some talent.

Okay, I went for a follow up appointment with my doctor today after my lovely Emergency Room visit last week.  Here is where things stand.  My doctor thinks that that the pain and problem is muscular/skeletal in origin.  She had me go for x-rays today and pending the results of that, I may have to go for an MRI as well.  She is sending me to a physical therapist to have them look at my neck and muscles to see what is going on and to see what they can do to help.  I go for that appointment on Thursday.  I don't know what the outcome will be, but I can always hope for therapeutic massage, right?  The doctor did have a real conversation with me about the fact that this is very probably caused by stress and things at work.  While we can come up with a way to fix things now, how are we going to prevent things from ending up back here in the future?  I've been thinking about it.  I know that there are some ergonomic things that I can buy that can help with the placement of my computer and so forth which can help some.  That only helps with the physical issues.  I have to think long and hard on how to handle the stress issue. 

She also gave me a stronger muscle relaxer to take for another week.  Hopefully, this one will help more.  It should for how much it cost, even with insurance.  This neck problem is going to send me to the poor house.  On the upside, I might actually get to have the medical write off on my taxes this year.  I've never hit that percentage before, but I swear that I am heading there quickly!

Okay, here's the latest update on my family that has been stressing me out in the last few months.

Brother:  If you saw my post from last night, you know that he has been having all kinds of roommate issues.  The sad thing is that his roomie is one of his oldest and closest friends.  Now they never even speak.  Derek went through a major depression when all of this started.  He had started going down the same self-destructive path that Greg is on now, but at least he realized that he needed to stop it.  When he realized that, he called on the person that he usually does to hep fix things, which is me.  He started spending the evenings at my house to get his paperwork from his job done and to come up with a plan of how to change things.  He got to a point that was so low, I was really worried that he was suicidal again.  Obviously, he has been working his way out of that.  However, he is not there yet.  He won't be "fixed" until the situation with his roommate is squared away.

Sister, Angie:  If you have read my LJ before you that I love my sister but she drives me bonkers.  You also know that I truly dislike her husband.  Lately they have been having problems, which would seem like a good thing since I don't like the asshat.  However, when they didn't get along in the past, it eventually ended up abusive.  It hasn't thus far, but I think that it's just a matter of time.  The worry is being multiplied by the fact that my sister has reconnected with her first love through facebook, and he lives part of the year around here.  (He travels a lot with his work.)  She has been sneaking around to see him behind her husband's back.  I don't know that they have done anything more than making out like teenagers but this does not bode well if her husband finds out.  I would like to think that she is trying to figure out a way to leave her husband, but I don't think that she is.  She has become accustomed to having things and spending money.  If she leaves her husband, she will have to leave that behind.  She could have love and happiness if her happiness had not become dependent on what money could buy.  The new guy loves her and treats her like she deserves to be treated.  However, there is a part of me that wants to go over and tell him that he should cut ties because she won't leave her husband.  I know that she is scared of the asshat, but she is still talking about taking a trip to the Bahamas and another trip Europe.  Those are not things that she could do if she plans on leaving her husband.  The sad thing is that she and her husband are beginning to fight because they are starting to have money issues.  They own several businesses, but all of the businesses sell large cost items (cars, house improvements...), which people are not buying in this economy.  On top of that, any money that they had set aside, the asshat has gambled away because he fancies himself a big card player.  He may be better than the average person around here, but he is not all that when going up against professional players.  So, my sister is playing with fire, pulling an innocent person into a bad situation, knowing that she won't ever leave her asshat husband.

Okay f-listies...  I have had a question posed to me and I need some help to think things through.  My brother has been dealing with a bad roommate situation.  His current roomie is one of his oldest friends who has just made some bad choices and has slowly become a freeloader.  He is in the process of kicking out the roomie, which is taking a little longer than expected because the roomie is actually on the lease.  It would be one thing if he could just say get out because you are not on the lease but that isn't the situation.  However, every month, the roomie is getting further and further in debt to my brother, so it is a matter of time before he is out.  This brings me to my quandary. 

My brother asked me when my lease was up and would I move in with him.  First of all, my lease would have been renewed in May, but I was never given a new lease to sign.  I haven't signed a new lease since I moved here 3 years ago, but there is a line that says that there is an automatic renewal without notice.  So I would have to check to see if this was even an option in the first place.  However, if it would be an option, here are the pros and cons:

Pros:
- I would be more motivated to do things because we motivate each other to work.  He is exercising and would help me exercise.  I will do paperwork and make him do his paperwork.  He's OCD about cleaning, so I would actually clean much better than I do now.  (I'm not dirty, just cluttered)  Having him around, I would actually cook meals, which means that I would eat better instead of settling for fast food or having frozen dinners.
 - It would be cheaper, splitting costs.
- I would have company and no more annoying neighbors.
- I love his house, which is only 5 minutes from where I live now, so not a huge difference in neighborhoods
- I would have a lovely, huge back yard
- We get along great and spend a ton of time together anyway.
- mom has been thinking that this would be wonderful for us to do

Cons:
- I would mother him and he would let me.  It would exhaust me and eventually piss him off.
- I have a household of stuff that I would have to get rid of or figure out what to do with.  The house is pretty much already decorated and better decorated than my place, to be honest.  I could get rid of a lot of things, but there are some things that I can't compromise on like my grandmother's china cabinet.
- He likes to keep the temperature about 10 degrees colder than I do
- the heating there seriously is not great, and I have joint issues.  Joint issues + cold in the winter = bad
- There is only one bathroom
- He likes to play music loud all of the time
- His friends will come over and drink until late at night, which is fine for them, but I have to get some rest.
- He has pets, whom I love, but when my allergies are acting up, the pet dander will irritate them more.
- I'm afraid that while we love each other now, we will hate each other if we live together.

Any opinions?

California = Fail  Nuff said.

I have been absent for a month or so from LJ because of RL, so I am going to try to do some updates based on categories.  The first will be to one that seems to be most pertinent which is my health.  If you have read my LJ, you know that this year has not been a good year for me health-wise.  I have had every cold, flu, and respiratory issue that you can imagine outside of pneumonia and bronchitis.  I have also been dealing with more and more migraines.  I finally was put on Topamax for that, which had some interesting side effects for about six weeks, and then no more migraines since.  Yay!

Once the headaches were gone, I noticed that the aching in my neck that I always felt with my headaches was still there.  I went to the doctor about it.  She said that it was an inflamed muscle and gave me anti-inflammatories, told me to ice it once or twice a day and do stretches.  I have been doing that for a couple of weeks.  However, over the weekend, my neck has been aching 10 times worse then before, and my fingers started tingling.  I also started having a weird visual effect, not the aura that comes with migraines, but more of a shadowy trail when things move.  Last night, I could barely move and almost went to the ER because I was in so much pain.  However, I took enough medicine and lay on an ice pack that I was able to go to sleep.  When I woke up this morning, I couldn't move much more than last night and my neck was still in as much pain.  I went to the Emergency Room.  They did a CT scan, which came back clear, so that is good.  The down side is that we don't know what is causing this.  I went home on some serious percocet with a referral to a neurologist and a prescription for muscle relaxers.  I am supposed to take the muscle relaxers 4 times a day, and I have no idea how I am going to work like that.  I thought that I would forego taking them, but once I woke up after the percocet wore off this afternoon, there is no way that I can function with this pain still throbbing in my neck without the medicine.  I guess being woozy at work is better than being non-functional and in pain.  I can only hope that I can get into the neurologist quickly and figure out what is going on.  What are the odds of that?  With my luck, not good.

I have had a couple of people e-mail me and ask me what is going on, so I wanted to do a quick post.  I haven't fallen off of the face of the earth.  Apparently, I'm not that lucky lately.  RL has been sucking hard for the last few weeks.  I can't really go into it all right now.  I don't have the energy.  Work has been driving me so crazy and making me so frustrated that I have honestly been considering looking for something new.  My family has exhausted me with worry and stress.  My brother and my sister are going to completely wear me out at this rate.  I am constantly being pulled in so many different directions by everyone else that I couldn't tell you when I did anything for myself.  I am just tired.  I know that many of my friends out there are going through lots too, and I am sorry that I haven't been able to be there to put in an encouraging word.  Usually that makes me feel better, but I haven't even had the energy to do that.  I hope that things are going to calm down in the next couple of days at work, which should help things.  I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still around more or less.

There is a little good news.  My land lady told my obnoxious upstairs neighbors that they had to be quiet or risk being kicked out.  Since then, they have been good little boys.  At least I can come home to some peace and quiet.

So today I had great news.  My student that has aplastic anemia has been matched with a bone marrow donor!  He goes to Washington DC in May to have the transplant.  He will be there for about 4 months with recovery and therapy.  If all goes well, he will for all intensive purposes be  cured after that.  He will have a chance at a life.  He went from having less than a year  to having a chance for a normal life.  Here's hoping that the transplant goes well!

Also, I had a very amusing discussion with some students today.  I heard some students outside of my office door saying, "Ask Ms. Roland, She'll know."  They asked me the difference between the Rat Pack and the Brat Pack.  I explained who each group was and gave them my personal recommendations for music and movies by each group.  You should have seen their faces when I told them that the Rat Pack was in the original Oceans Eleven.  Most of them had no idea that there was an original that didn't involve Brad Pitt or George Clooney.  Yes, I was truly an educator today.  I may not have helped them get into college, but I did help them expand their little worlds.  Maybe, just maybe, one of them will actually go home and listen to some of the music that I suggested and like it, even if they never mention it to their friends because it's just not cool to like that kind of music when you are 16.

Ok, my sister told me that she had created a Facebook page and I should friend her.  Since we had a lot of the same friends from West Virginia or knew siblings of friends, I thought that this would be a great idea.  I find her page, and friend it.  Then I begin to read her information.  First of all. she says that she is married but interested in friendship and relationships.  Now, I know that she and her husband will go to "lifestyle" parties and spouse swap.  It grosses me out to no end.  I can't believe that she would do that but if that is what makes her and her husband happy, so be it.  However, posting it on Facebook for anyone to see, INCLUDING HER SON, is just tacky.  She also has down that she is in the Tidewater Bi Females group.    That she is bisexual doesn't bother me.  Seeing it posted on-line where her son can read it, when she and her husband gives him shit about possibly being gay when he isn't, that is where I have a problem.  Well that and the whole idea of my sister + anything sexual = eww because she's my sister and I don't want to know about it.  I have no doubt that my nephew is aware of what goes on in my sisters house and in her life.  He is extremely bright, but I am sure that he feels like me and doesn't want to read about it on-line.  Does my sister not think about things like that?  And she wonders why my nephew has such a close relationship with me.  Maybe it's because he doesn't feel comfortable talking to her about the things that she does like this that embarrasses him but he needs to vent to someone sane.  When he gets older, it would be fine, but he is a teenager, the most awkward time for most people.  He is still trying to define himself as a person.  He doesn't need to deal with his mother's personal information being posted on-line for him and all of his friends to read.  Am I wrong to think this way?  Have I just worked with kids too long that I have lost touch with adults? Or am I right in that my sister is being oblivious to her son's needs?  I just think that it's wrong.  Besides, I just really didn't need any image of my sister having any kind of sex with anyone, male or female.  That's just gross. 

The wife of one of the teachers sold sugar cookie baskets for Easter.  It was for a charity and she is a fabulous cook.  My secret pal from work bought me a basket with 3 cookies.  I am eating the first one now.  The sugar cookies should be outlawed or at least renamed to butter cookies.  They are soooooooo nommy nommy good!  I am not crazy about sugar cookies, but I know that Mrs. Lawson is a phenomenal baker, so I gave them a try.  It's going to be all I can do to not eat them all right now.  Yum!

I love all of you out there.

I've been running something around in my head and I just want to ask for some opinions out there.  I have a student that I have been working with for a couple of weeks.  I've actually known her for 2 years, but she has been going through a really rough time for the last month or so.  She came in the office and had a total break down, crying so hard that other counselors came to see if I needed help.  Now, this is a not a student that is given to crying fits.  In fact, until a few months ago, I would have told you that she was a tough cookie.  About a year and a half ago, her brother was killed in combat.  They were very close and he was her rock and her sounding board.  She seems to be lost without him and is still mourning him.  Most of her "friends" tell her that she should be over it, and her mother tells her that she is just being a drama queen about it.  (The mother has her own set of issues, so don't judge her too harshly.)  On top of all of this, some girls in her vocational class are harassing her in class, on-line (documented and reported to the police), through texts...  It has just pushed this young lady to her breaking point.  So she sat in my office and cried.  I just hugged her and rocked her back and forth, which is all I could think of doing.  She obviously needed a good cry since everyone else tells her that she's not allowed to mourn any longer.  I wanted to let her know that my office is a safe place to mourn and talk about her brother.  She needed to know that she isn't broken because she still misses him.  I worked with her to get her calmed down after that and we came up with a plan for after spring break on how to address the issue with these girls.  She told me that she thought that she was getting on my nerves my brothering me all of the time.  Here is what I want your opinion on:  I am considering getting her a goofy card and sending it to her during spring break just to let her know that she can come to me whenever she needs to talk.  What do you think?  What would you have done if your school counselor would ahve done the same thing in the same situation?

The new meds seem to be doing okay.  Having more sleep and more water does seem to lessen the side effects.  I wasn't dizzy this morning unless I turned my head quickly.    I do feel tired and find myself sleeping more deeply than before.  I have always been a light sleeper, but I have come home and taken naps and slept through a couple of phone calls.  I also find that I feel not quite light headed and not quite disconnected but somewhere in between.  The little side effects pamphlet said that mental fog is a possibility and I would say that the fog is starting to roll in, which should warn you guys who actually read my posts.  I tend to ramble any way.  Imagine what will happen when I am all foggy and fuzzy headed.  I will just apologize now.  I have caught myself doing things and wondering about them later.  I had a report due today that I had to send to someone at the school admin building.  I made sure to finish the report before I left work.  I pack up and am driving home and thinking how glad I was that I finished that report and sent it when it dawns on me, "SHIT! I didn't e-mail it to who needed it!"  With traffic, I knew that I wouldn't get home in time to e-mail it before the offices closed, so I pulled off the main road, went into the neighborhoods, pulled out my laptop, and stopped every so often to look for an open internet signal or WIFI that I could use.  Fortunately, there was a club of some kind that has free internet access, so I stopped, logged on, e-mailed the report and then finished going home.  I can just see that in the next couple of weeks that I am going to have to live by check off lists.  Otherwise, I am going to forget something.

In other news, I was e-mailed pictures today from a former student that were from her wedding.  She was so beautiful.  She graduated 7 years ago, but she still keeps in contact from time to time.  It was nice to get the pics.

I have started taking the new medicine that the doctor prescribed for me.  It has some interesting side effects, which are exacerbated by lack of sleep and dehydration.  Apparently, I was suffering from lack of sleep or lack of water or both because this morning when I woke up, I was incredibly dizzy, like unable to stand up.  I looked online for information and suggestions from other people who had used the same medicine.  That's where I found the mantra "More sleep, more water".  I did that and went into work late.  For a day that started so oddly, it ended well.  When I got to work, I had so many people coming to see if I was okay and how I was feeling.  I had a few students come by just to tell me that they missed me and were worried about me.  I had one person tell me that I looked like I had had a burden lifted off of me and that I looked better than I had in a long time.  I also had one of the military recruiters tell me that he talks to a ton of students and they all tell him that I help them, even if I am not their counselor, and I usually help them even more than their own counselor.  That is a little double edged in that I am glad that the students feel that I help them, but it concerns me that they don't feel that they are getting the help that they need from their own counselor.  Considering everything else, I will go with being flattered right now.  I'll deal with the rest of it later.

Well, today I went to the doctor about the headaches that I have been having.  We sat and discussed everything  for close to 45 minutes, which I thought was pretty good for headaches alone.  We have a plan of attack.  She has given me a medicine to take daily to help prevent the migraines.  She also gave me a prescription for another medicine to take when I feel a migraine start.  She gave me a few suggestions of little changes to make in my day to day routine that could help as well.  I will go back to her in 3 months to follow up.  If the medicines are not helping, we will start doing different tests to see if there is something else going on that is causing the headaches.  I have a feeling that the medicine will work because it is the same medicine that my sister takes for her migraines.  Our family is blessed with the migraine gene.  I am pretty sure that my father gets them too, but he doesn't know that they are migraines.  He told me tonight that he had a splitting headache right over his left eye and that it hurt to be in the light.  Sounds like a migraine to me, but I don't know for sure.  Oh well, he wouldn't let that stop him from doing anything anyway.  I am just glad that I have something that I can do to help my own situation.  At least I don't feel so helpless now.